Men Only
Posted on 6 March 2010 | No responses
Men, have you ever killed a badger with your bare hands? Shot a snot rocket made of lava, or shook hands with a galactic bounty hunter? This website “The Art of Manliness” is devoted to men like you. It is a collection of well written articles that cover a range of topics. No matter what type of man you think you are, there are at least 2-3 articles that will catch your eye. What I like about this website is that it aims at turning men into better men. In an age where a large portion of men are misguided on how they should act and what makes a true man, this site is an arrow pointing in the right direction.
Check out “The Art of Manliness” it is worth its weight in gems, gold coins and treasure.
His Light is Really Bright.
Posted on 5 March 2010 | No responses
My heart has been ripped out of me. A girl did it to me, two girls actually.
The first is Chelsea King. She’s a 17 year old girl from San Diego County who disappeared last Thursday, only to be found dead this past Tuesday. The second is an African girl who has HIV. She sings and smiles all the while living at the mercy of a pill, because without it she would die.
When I initially heard about Chelsea King I wanted to cry. My body goes cold at the slightest thought of losing someone close to me; it is unfathomable for me to comprehend how sad the King family must be. And when I watched the African girl (from Invisible Children’s new film of AIDs in Africa), I knew that she lived in a place where AIDs has played the part of destruction in the lives of everyone in her country. Once again it is unfathomable for me to imagine.
I get overwhelmed by the mountainous amount of problems in this world. I can’t even finish listening about one trouble, before another trouble is talked about. There’s too many, too much, too often. As I hear one trouble my mind starts plotting out a plan to fix it, because I’m a fixer; it’s in my Smith blood. But I’m only left frustrated because it is impossible for me to fix them all.
I’m certain I would eventually have a meltdown if Christ weren’t in my life, because thankfully He is the answer to all of the world’s problems. It is true that no man can fix all of the world’s problems, but Christ can. As I look out at the dark world only to be overwhelmed by how dark it is, Christ looks at the world, lights a giant redwood tree on fire and starts walking around holding the blazing tree as a torch. He brings light to the darkness. What’s equally amazing is that God tells his followers to do the same. We are commanded to go out into the world and share the good news. We are told to feed the hungry, be there for the widow, and help those in need. But instead of doing this on our own, the Holy Spirit is right there with us, helping the whole way. And to me, that is a huge relief.
Mustache March
Posted on 3 March 2010 | No responses
It’s March, also known as Mustache March. A whole month devoted to growing upper-lip facial hair. Friends of mine are working on it, but I decided to sit this one out. To be honest, I am embarrassed of my facial hair situation. It’s as if I have a field that has been planted with seeds, but the only thing that grows is twigs and old branches. My facial hair is the swimmer who after four years of training drowns in the kiddy pool.
My spirits weren’t lifted when I searched online for motivational stories on the topic. Instead of reading stories of men who turned 23 and magically started growing fierce beards, I read that some men NEVER can grow a decent beard! How am I to cross “wrestle a bear” off my bucket list if I never grow a beard?!
For those of you that are able to grow something of stature and prominence, do not take what you have for granted. I, along with other mustache-less men applaud and envy your natural blessing.
Happy Mustache March errybody!
Talking Camels Have Personality
Posted on 2 March 2010 | No responses
On the way out of the house, my neighbor stopped me to have a civil discussion on the attributes of talking camels. I was feeling yappish, so I stopped to chat.
We’ve had disagreements before, so it wasn’t out of ordinary for us to collide over opinion of talking camels. I’ve always viewed talking camels as possessing the abilities of a normal non-talking camel, but also to have the ability of speech and personality. These two bonus abilities are what set a talking camel apart from a non-talking camel. It’s just the way it is.
Apart from being a numb-skull, my neighbor is a lovely woman. She keeps up with a garden in her backyard, and drives a Volkswagen bug. Real nice lady, never has a bad word towards anyone. Her intelligence isn’t very high, but not everyone can have smarts and drink it too. I accept this when I talk to her, but there are some things that are nonnegotiable. A square is square, clouds are cool, Tolkien is awesome and talking camels have personality.
Now in her mind, talking camels are characterized by the ability to speak, but they have no personality. Talking animals are personality-less, and that includes talking camels. She blabbered on about how they are the equivalency of a fleshy robot.
Monotone. Unengaged. Lifeless.
Which is bullshit.
Have you ever seen a non-talking camel? Full of life! Running and jumping, drinking out of waterfalls and running some more. Just like a dog, camels can learn tricks too. I once taught a camel to play dead, and shake hands (I tried teaching it to roll over, but the hump was an issue). These are all examples of non-talking camels having personality, so why shouldn’t talking camel have personality?
Long story short, I got so upset with the neighbor that I got in my car and drove to the zoo. I threw a leash around the nearest camel and walked it to the science factory. One of the bioengineers implanted a voice box in the camel to make him talk. It was a counter Dr. Doolittle Surgery. After it was done, I brought the talking camel to the neighbor. The camel proved his personality by singing and dancing to a Michael Buble song. The neighbor was pissed that I had proven her wrong and pulled a gun on the camel.
Now I have a dead camel in my driveway.
C O D E O R G A N
Posted on 1 March 2010 | No responses
This website plays “music” derived from your favorite site. It looks at the code for the notes and then analyzes the non-alphabetic characters to assign a drum beat.
VIA: RelevantMagazine.Com
I’m as Mad as Hell
Posted on 25 February 2010 | No responses
I have this clip marked as a favorite and I’ll watch it from time to time. I can’t say that I’ve watched the movie that it’s from (Network), but I can say that this scene gives me the gooseberries.
Every time I watch this clip, I think back of the most recent time I’ve joined a small group and everybody goes around in a circle saying what they want out of this particular group. 9 out of 10 people say that they want a group that is honest and real. A group of people that they can really talk too, because we all know there’s talking and then there’s talking.
People want to talk, they want to express their thoughts and have someone listen. For some, it’s hard to share their thoughts. They’re afraid of what others will think or say, and so they won’t talk about the things that really matter to them. And when people don’t talk, when they bottle up their real thoughts and never let them out, they become toxic. It’s unhealthy to never talk about what is on your mind.
When I watch this clip, I see a man shouting to the world what he’s thinking and encouraging others to do the same. It’s a scene of freedom, because letting your thoughts out is freeing.
The Bicycle and Automobile Relationship
Posted on 24 February 2010 | No responses
Here’s the thing with bicyclists. They get on everyone’s nerves. You’ll be zipping around in your car; going fast and making things happen and then have to slam on the brakes, because a bicyclist thinks that it is a good idea to ride in the middle of the road.
Dear Bicyclist,
Take a clue, an automobile is bigger than a bike. Getting run over by a vehicle is not safe, even if you are wearing your helmet.
Sincerely,
Automobile Driver
Before all the bicyclists get their chains all off gear, take note, I am a bicyclist as well. As long as weather permits I ride my yellow Schwinn continental to work every day, Monday through Friday. I share your frustrations as I ride on poorly painted bike lanes, and cross dangerous traffic intersections. Getting hit by a car is inevitable over time. You’re a little fish swimming with the sharks, so you cross your fingers everyday that nothing terrible happens.
The best way to handle this bike-vehicle relationship is to be courteous. Bicyclists please understand that by riding side by side you are making it doubly hard for cars to pass, plus you’re just increasing your own risk. Be aware of the traffic and your relation to it. Drivers, please don’t honk your horns or give us the finger. We’re getting some exercise or saving gas money, we aren’t trying to make your life miserable.
Top Three Reasons to Name Your Child “Pterodactyl”.
Posted on 23 February 2010 | No responses
1. In honor of the fiercest flying dinosaur ever. The world makes the assumption that the tyrannosaurus rex is the most dangerous creature to walk planet Earth, but this a false assumption enforced by misinformed school teachers and Spielberg’s unrealistic Jurassic Park film. The truth is that the world’s most dangerous creature made the t-rex look like a fool.
Think of a dinosaur that is just as carnivorous and has nearly twice as many teeth as the t-rex. Now give it wings and a crazy sharp beak. This creature that you have conjectured in your mind is known as the Pterodactyl and it was a killing machine. Back when it wasn’t extinct, this dinosaur would swoop down into the jungle, pick up a t-rex, and carry it upwards of 2 miles above the earth’s surface before releasing it from its claws. The pterodactyl would then go feast on the corpse of the flattened t-rex and tell pancake jokes.
A healthy pterodactcyl needed to eat up to 7 tons of meat a day and could swallow baby elephants whole. These flying predators were the cause of fear for all living creatures. Not only were creatures of the land considered prey to the pterodactyl but also sea creatures. It wasn’t uncommon for Pterodactyl’s to hold their breath and swim deep into the ocean to battle against creatures of the deep as well.
Pterodactyl’s had no fear and lived by the motto “Everything is defeatable.” To name one’s child Pterodactyl would show great honor to the fiercest dinosaur that ever lived.
2. No one messes with dinosaurs. Place yourself back in elementary school. You’re on the blacktop playing tetherball. Let’s pretend that the school bully comes over and decides to cut straight to the front of the line, even though you’ve been waiting patiently all recess. Let’s also pretend that your best friend is named PTERODACTYL. You let out a bird call that sounds like someone is shattering glass with Styrofoam. Your badass dinosaur friend hears the call and starts to make his way over. By the time Pterodactyl gets to you, the school bully has already pissed his pants and went into hiding. No one messes with dinosaurs (or people with dinosaur names).
3. It’s unique. I know a guy named Per (pronounced like the fruit) and his name is stuck in my memory banks forever. I haven’t talked to the guy in years, but because he has such a unique name I haven’t forgotten him. Pterodactyl is even more unique. At social gatherings, your kid will never have to repeat his name more than once. Also, everyone will want to meet him. Who doesn’t want to shake hands with a dude named Pterodactyl? His name will provide countless opportunities in life for him.
Gandalf vs. Barrymore
Posted on 22 February 2010 | 1 response
Everyone perceives art differently, but this drawing cannot be perceived to be anything other than EXTRA-SUGAR-IN-THE-GRAPE-KOOL-AID-AWESOME! The depiction of Drew Barrymore is done to perfection and Gandalf is looking as great as ever. You can be sure that Gandalf is about to gouge her eyes out with his wizard staff.
The king of Europetown had it all backwards when he knighted Elton John. We need men like Trevor (my friend who gave me this gift of excellence) to be the kind of men who get to have Sir in front of their names and have a seat reserved at the round table. Anyone can wear silly glasses and play the piano, but not all people can draw an honest interpretation of good and evil.
Persecution in India
Posted on 22 February 2010 | No responses
Persecution in India: Francis’ Response from Cornerstone Church on Youtube.
Reposted from Vitamin Z.